Brighton And Hove: Parking Fines

So you think you know Brighton...

Well you don't until you've...

Managed to get a parking ticket.

Parking in Brighton is, to say the very least, cumbersome and expensive. Car parks are plentiful. They typically charge nearly £3 per hour (it goes down a little, the longer you stay) and are rarely full. If you're feeling brave however, there is street parking too. Roadside spots are (unless you are a resident) very limited. If you're lucky enough to find one, expect to pay around £1.20 per hour.

Signage explaining the pitfalls and tariffs of parking in Brighton isn't exactly clear. It's fair to say a person with a first-class honors degree from Oxbridge can decipher their meaning within 15mins. Any lesser person however, someone with a mere comprehensive school education, or who speaks English only as a 2nd language,  you might as well just give up and go home.

Just supposing you do manage to find a spot and understand its ins and outs, your troubles are still far from over. Ticket dispensing machines, dotted all over town, require not only your expected duration of stay, they also want your car registration, mother's maiden name, the breed of your first dog, and the colour of the underwear you're currently wearing. Now, if you've never owned a dog,  not wearing pants, or never met your mother, don't bother lying. They know already. It's a test. They just want to intimidate you.

So you've loaded the machine with your credit card details, maybe received a text on your phone and received your ticket. good, now walk quickly away, before the machine also demands your passport and national insurance number and who knows what else.

You have paid for your right to park. 

Hooray, you're free to enjoy Brighton!

WARNING!

DON'T enjoy Brighton too much. DON'T forget when you arrived and certainly DON'T forget where you parked your car. Civil Enforcement Officers, better known as Parking Wardens, are everywhere and,  although they wear uniforms with HiVis strips, they are still near impossible to spot. Like Ninjas, they deftly patrol the streets using cars as cover. They're looking just for you. The nicer of the wardens give a few minutes grace for late returns but don't depend on it. You to them, are prey and they're always hungry.

Equipped with tiny computers worn around their waists, they can print out a ticket faster than you can say 'sorry, I forgot what time it is.'

They don't want to hear your excuses. They've heard them all before anyway.

Don't let a parking fine, starting at £35, spoil your day.

 

Take it from me, arrive by train or catch a bus (they all have free WIFI and are named after a celebrity). It's a lot better in the long run.